This is for you Mom

On Sunday My pastor talked about parents and the roles that they play in their children's lives. Here is what my mom means to me. Growing up people often told me that my mother was going to ruin my life. They said that her decisions were not sound, and that she lived in her own fantasy world not reality. What I remember about my mother is that she taught my brothers and I to believe that anything we imagined or dreamed could come true. She taught us that there was a loving God who loved us unconditionally. He was a God who would always provide for our needs. Some children today are not fortunate enough to have parents who encourage strong roots in faith. Some children go their whole lives without knowing or experiencing the sacrificial love of Jesus. When I was a freshman in college, I committed my life to Christ. I would have never have done that without the encouragement, and guidance of my mother. Instead of ruining my life … she led me to my Redeemer who saved me from an eternity in hell. It was not a popular decision. Jesus is often not a popular subject, and even though I was legally an adult my mother knew the importance of encouraging this choice, the choice to accept Jesus into my heart. I have made many mistakes throughout my life. Many of them were a result of not listening to my mother. Contrary to what people say, my mother always tried to steer my brothers and I away from things that were going to harm us, set us back, or cause us to neglect our true callings. She has been called many negative things. Here are three that stand out: crazy, obsessed and irrational. Now here is the truth. My mother is crazy about us. She loves to hold us, snuggle us and she never misses an opportunity to tell us we are beautiful, special and loved. She is obsessed. Along with devoting her life to us, she has never stopped supporting us. She has never missed a game, school play or important moment in our lives. She is irrational. She doesn’t think like everyone else. My mom is a dreamer. To her, any dream no matter how out of reach can be realized if we work hard to achieve it. Though she is currently unemployed, her bills always get paid on time and there is food on the table. She truly holds on to her faith in God as a Provider. She values faith rather than what the world says is rational. I confess that I resented her for many years. I can remember times when I was embarrassed by her and ashamed. I figured that everyone was right about her …she was always going to screw everything up. There was a time when I believed the opinions that others have said about her. Those hurtful, judgmental things that can literally break a person down, especially when they are the people who are supposed to be closest to us. As a single-parent, she did everything she could for her children. I can't even imagine how she did it. How she managed to provide again and again as best she could on a waitresses salary. Even though she was harsh on us sometimes, her loving heart always asked for our forgiveness. When she came down on us for something we had done, afterwards she would tearfully tell us that she loved us. She would say how sorry she was for hurting us and losing her temper. Today, I personally know people including parents who often lose their temper and don't even consider apologizing for their actions. It was through my mother's humbleness that I learned the importance of admitting when you make a mistake and taking responsibility for your actions. Since my mother committed herself to Jesus in 2004, she has asked forgiveness and the scars that once were so visible have now began to fade away. In the summer of 2009 my mother made another bold confession. She confessed that she needed help. She confessed that the pressures of economic despair, loneliness and personal defeat had taken a toll on her ability to cope. She admitted she was not perfect. Yet, even through that tremendously difficult time, people refused to understand her imperfections. People refused to accept her for who she is. Over the course of a year, I have married and moved out of the house my mother spent nearly her entire adult life sacrificing to keep. My youngest brother, who was taught how to play sports by my mother, is now living out his dream at a Division 1 college. Some people doubted that he would ever make it, while my mother continuously encouraged him even before he was ranked one of the top quarterbacks in the state of New Jersey. And she continues to support his goal of being a professional athlete even though some people say it is a one in a million chance. My other brother, the first grandson and nephew born into my family has struggled to find his way ever since he was a little boy. When everyone around him has given up on helping him or reaching out, declaring that he is lost. My mother continues to lend her helping hand. She has made some tough decisions, but she has never stopped caring, she has never stopped being there, like the father in the story of the prodigal son, she is waiting for him with her arms wide open. After heartbreaks, financial and personal setbacks, my mother has proven she is a survivor. She is the strongest person I know. Instead of giving up she continues to trust in the Lord with all her heart. Though she barely has much to call her own, she gives what she can to those in need. My mother doesn’t have a lot of friends. Her phone doesn’t ring off the hook with invitations to this or that. She spends most of her time taking care of our family dog and our 95 year-old uncle. Her faith is constant. Though she doesn’t know what the future holds, she holds on to that truth that God will provide. For me, my mother is easy to love. I hope that someday I am not afraid to stand up for my children as she has for hers. She has worked her whole life to make sure that the generational chains were broken. Though my brother’s and I are far apart we have not lost touch. No matter what has happened between us in the past, we have learned never to turn our backs on one another. Many criticize her for being to involved in our lives, but my mom is the glue. She holds us accountable when we are wrong and she keeps us from drifting apart as brothers and sister. When accountability is lacking in so many family units, when sides are often taken, my mother encourages unity and forgiveness. Mom I am proud of you. I am so thankful that you are my mother. You have taught me to stand up for myself and you give me the confidence to stay true to my beliefs when others have judged me. You are a beautiful daughter of God. A beautiful queen! I am so happy for how far you have come. Keep on going… I believe in your strength.